Sometimes, we search for things only to discover they were right in front of us all along....
Sometimes we think we know what we should do, or where we should be going, we fight and strive and give of ourselves, only to find it was fruitless.... or so it seemed.
In truth, nothing is ever fruitless, you will either win or you will learn.
I've lost count of the number of times I've given thanks for not getting what I once thought I truly needed; a relationship; a job; an event to happen in a certain way.... and when things failed, I cried, my heart hurt.
I mourned the loss, and then I grew stronger and relearned that I needed to trust my path, to know that sometimes spirit has a better plan.
If I remember just to let go and trust....for in the end what do we truly control? Other than ourselves, we control nothing; everything we think we have can be taken away...
Three weeks ago I lost my father to this virus, he was very poorly, and once he caught Covid-19, it was inevitable that he would pass over. I lost the strongest most amazing man I had ever known.
When I left my marriage after 22 years, I thought I had leapt without a net, free falling, blind faith; but I had a net all along... I had my daddy.
He caught me, held me when I cried, told me I'd always have a home here, (in the house where my mother gave birth to me). Then one day he was gone, and now it would seem that I truly do have no safety net...but this is the great illusion of life...that death is the end.
As a spiritualist, for me death is not the end, so whilst I mourn the loss of my father, I mourn only for myself...For having to watch my Daddy pass over on video chat, unable to hold his hand or kiss him goodbye...This made a painful time so much worse, adding serrated edges to the blade cutting into my heart.
My father's spirit is now happily reunited with my mother, who passed in 2011.
Since he passed over, I wake most mornings feeling I have been talking all night. For me I have no doubt who's spirit I converse with in my dreams.
In the midst of all the stress and difficulties we feel, whether it be bereavement, great joy, great pain, remember this...when we travel within, we find peace.
To experience any emotion so intensely is life affirming. When your relationship ends or you suffer any loss or hurt; and you drink too much, and cry, and lose sleep...If we stop and step outside of ourselves, if only for a brief moment, we may just see the joy in our pain; that we were able to love a person so much, that we weep when they are gone.
It truly is better to have loved and lost.
It is in the hurt we endure that we grow.
The very fires that burn us, forge us, but always know that the water that softens the carrot hardens the egg....
Then try to remember we can choose to be neither...
We can choose to be the coffee...
To embrace the strength to change the water.
However, the choice to learn and grow through pain is ours.
We cope in the ways we can at the time.
Hardening to the pain is a way of coping.
Becoming soft and powerfully emotional is a way of coping too - being brave enough to feel emotion is always powerful, and wonderfully cathartic.
Eventually we may then change and grow, reformed, the same but different, stronger, wiser, with more empathy for the suffering of others.
There is no one on the Earth who is responsible for your happiness.
We alone are the masters of that. We may choose to give someone power over us, but know we can take that power back, reclaim it for ourselves, anytime we want to; all you have to do is recognise your own power, the strength of your own spirit.
I thought I had lost my safety net when I lost my father, but instead I feel stronger... feel his presence near me, guiding me.
In grief I went within, and there I found peace, but my journey of grief is not as yet complete; there will no doubt be more tears, but there will also be more fond memories to recall...more reasons to make my father and mother proud of me.
Peace...It exists within us all...usually in the last place we look, inside ourselves.
Peace & light to you my friends. 🙏🏽⭐️