Guilt, Blame, Conflict....
We women are often too good at self sacrifice and putting ourselves last. We invest in those we love, and in doing so often forget to invest in ourselves.
This is beautiful in some ways, and of course great for our children and relationships.
We are often the corner stone of family life. However, it is not sustainable as it can ultimately lead to unhappiness and feelings of discontentment.
Then in our unhappiness we become insecure, needy, (I hate that word), mistrusting; all the characteristics that are truly not us.
To be honest it's not just a female thing. In any relationship we should feel happy and valued, if we don't, we have to ask ourselves two questions:
Is the issue mine?
Do I know my own self worth?
Do I look for someone else to be the source of my happiness & to build my confidence?
If this is the case, recognising it is halfway to curing it. However, no other person, place or thing can ever be the source of our happiness, as everything can be taken away, marriages end, possession go etc.
Happiness has to come from within us.
We need to love and value ourselves enough to expect to be treated well.
Is our spirit / intuition giving us a warning?
Often there may be something amiss in our relationship & we can sense it. We start to question things, feel insecure, display unusual traits that we normally wouldn't. This was the case for me in my last relationship & I'm sure will resonate with you.
Ultimately, we should learn to listen to the voice of our spirit/intuition, and heed it. For me, Meditation has been the key to stilling my mind, opening myself up and hearing my heart song.
In the end, when things are wrong in our relationships, on some level, we always know.
It is no one's job to complete me.
I am a whole person by myself.
We are a complicated species, with so many issues, emotions and needs. Knowing ourselves is not easy. Knowing someone else, whilst recognising issues within ourselves is indeed challenging.
Ultimately we need to love ourselves enough to not sacrifice our hopes and dreams.
Maybe they go on hold, while we busy ourselves with child birth and creating our families.
Maybe we get into relationships that aren't right for us, and in trying to be everything they need, we lose ourselves.
There are many reasons why we might leave ourselves behind, but in the end, if we are lucky, we find ourselves again. We discover the courage and self love to follow our dreams and rediscover our calling and inner happiness x
Peace & light to you